Love and Love and Happy Afternoons

(turn on your speakers)

Before I start, I'd like to give a big thanks to Meridian for providing RK and Mae the smallest possible room capacity to perform. And, ofcourse, an even bigger thanks to TicketMaster for making it so incredibly hard to purchase tickets. Golly, you guys are truly the best.

And ahh - most importantly - thank you to Vans for planning the Warped Tour '05 to come to Houston right smack on the 25th, one day before I'm back from Sweden and Washington.
I am absolutely devastated. And bitter. And I don't want to talk about it anymore.

So first off, I guess I should update you with a few events and news. And I'll post some pictures just so that it won't feel naked.

It's a little late for this, but congratulations to John and Grace Lin :)

The Mokakas at the wedding.

My brother and I enjoyed the weather and the flowers in our yard that only bloom once a year. =)



And ofcourse, here's a tribute to my dad, who's pink swim shorts that hangs in our garage has been seen by literally everyone. =)



This seems like a century ago, but here's the Rockets vs. Kings game.

The TAFE State trip to Dallas was great! =) Except the fact that we had to ride 5 hours in a freaking YELLOW BUS.

Mitchell Me Ben Nate


Mitchell me Cindy

Aaaaaannd that's enough for now, due to the fact that I stopped taking pictures with my camera because, well, it sucks. I swear it has a negative number of pixels.
Anyway, track season is almost finished, and things are getting pretty busy with school and summer and DAH!! But nevertheless, junior year so far has been absolutely rad<3.>

Okay here it goes. I'm not going to beat around the bush, cause frankly, I am emotionally and spiritually drained. These past few months have been a constant struggle between me only God knows what. I was clearly - and indeed still am - incredibly and easily annoyed with every person or thing or idea or action that I came across, and about 95% of me turned into an antisocial hermit angry at the world. But, ahh, that is not the worst part, for I was not in that first state of denial. I knew what was going on, and this awareness slowly sneaked up behind me and caused me to doubt the existence of the one thing I thought I had so much of: Control. And all the things that came with Control -- discipline, independence, discretion, and - most importantly - faith. I took a good look around me, and all I could see what everything I hated. And the more I tried to overcome it, the deeper I fell into frustration. I lost my grip on all the satisfaction I had found in Inconsistency.

We constantly try to gain all the glory, awe, and recognition we can possibly receive through Man's eyes. But there's a catch. We leave the world the same way we came into it. Absolutely naked - stripped of all the wealth, possessions, pride, and recognition that we've tried so hard to obtain. It doesn't matter anymore how many A's you got, or what college you went to, or the money you get, or the number of relationships you've had, or how nice of a car you have, cause when you die, it all goes to someone else. SO WHAT GOOD IS IT FOR MAN TO GAIN THE WORLD, YET FORFEIT HIS OWN SOUL?

I've got a ticket pending on eternity, but I keep losing it. My heavy heart is burdened with doubt. I fear Man instead of God. And I'm sorry God. I try so hard to surrender everything to You. I spend my time dwelling in my own dreams and wants and judgements and worry that I miss out on the genuine meaning of love and truth. Everything is so insignificant compared to You. So once again, I'm handing myself over, sincerely asking you to take control. Let me know that You love me, and let that be enough.